Saving the Salsa

A few months ago, my dad called me and told me he had cancer. Never one to be lacking in articulation, at that moment I had nothing to say. He assured me everything was going to be fine. He has great doctors and they caught it early, all the things that you want to hear to give you hope, but does any of that make you feel better when you first get this life changing news? I tried to be a good daughter and not get too emotional on the phone. I asked a few probing questions about the plan of action for his treatment and his symptoms. I basically tried to keep the conversation as logical as possible, while on the inside I felt like I was melting.
My dad and I have not had a conventional relationship. A product of teen pregnancy, I felt like I spent most of my early years watching my parents grow up and become adults rather, than looking to them for guidance. My daddy and I... well we have grown together in our own way. He was never one to stress me about grades or school. He just knew I was going to do well and he let me do it. Out of everyone in my family he is the most free spirit. I remember on the weekends, the house would be vibrating because he was down in the basement playing his salsa music, practicing for his next gig. My dad plays the timabales (don't ask me how a west indian man ends up playing salsa! lol) I remember the few times we went to clubs together so I could hear him play, or going to his rehearsals and seeing him transform from a pretty quiet laid back guy, to a very energetic, passionate, talented artist. Our family always championed, challenged and cheered academic success, but it was my dad staying true to his passion that fueled me to look beyond the books to discover how I wanted to express myself. Whether it was dancing, writing poetry or just speaking and being me, I always feel like I can be me in front of my dad and he will appreciate my creative expression in a way that most others won't.

So as he goes through this fight of mind, body and spirit I think of is music to calm me. I think of his passion for playing and wanting to share is love of music with others. I think of my love of dance and poetry and feel grateful of the rhythm he gave me. Although we have not has a lot of mushy moments, I rest easy on the spiritual connection we have. Don't get me wrong, I am a little scared. I feel like 48 is too soon for my dad not to be here. He still needs to walk me down the isle and say hello to the grandson I hope to have in the next few years. We have lots of stories to share and music to listen to together. Somehow the music and the rhythm give me comfort that everything is going to be fine. When the anxiety starts to creep in, I picture him playing his timables in SOB's and smile, knowing that he will be up on the stage again soon.

I chose this Louboutin open-toe pump, because it is fun, sexy, and definitely a shoe I wear to salsa dance!! It just reminds me of the vibe and energy of being out with my dad. This shoe says "I am ready to perform, watch me do my thing!" When my dad is up on stage, dressed in his all black suit, I feel like he says the same thing. So I have my dance shoes ready and waiting for when he gets better and the salsa will be flowing again.